Well Hello There

It's been a while.  I have been so busy with...well SCHOOL stuff that I have kind of forgotten that I have this little thing called a blog.

And I have about 2.5 seconds to tell you that:

A) not much has changed.  My life is still nutso

B) I am sick, which makes school harder.

C) My pediatric clinical experience has been puncutated by a lice outbreak which pretty much freaked me out.  Lice, are disgusting and I keep jumping every time I feel itchy.

I can't really talk about my clinicals other than to say they are pretty much a yawn this semester and school is pretty much just busy work intended to kill my spirit.  I have 12 weeks left in this semester and I am hoping each one of them flies by as quickly as the past 4 has because, seriously.  I am going to be a blithering idiot before too long. 

Ok, I need to take my illness to bed.  TTFN

So the beginning of my day was awesome...

But the end of my day kind of sucked. 

This morning I went to my physical fitness class at 5:30 am knowing that everyone else would be taking a test of their ability to run 2 miles, do push ups and sit ups...and I would probably be failing this test miserably.  I have a pulled hamstring and a torn rotator cuff so pushups are a no go, and as for sit ups, well I can do SIT UP.  As in one, the "proper military way" (hands behind head etc).  When I got there my instructor said to me, "What time does the gym open?" and I said, "6:00." and he said, "See ya." I was STOKED because I really didn't want to risk reinjuring my hamstring when it was just getting back in shape.  So I went to the gym and worked my butt off on the climbing/gliding machine that I love so much for 30 minutes until I couldn't go another second.  After that I went to weigh in and made weight (thankyouverymuch) and proceeded to shower and spend the next 7 straight hours in class.  After all that I checked my email and there was an email from one of the cadre members basically chewing me out for having "skipped out on the PT test".  He was nice enough about it be the end result was clear, I was shamming and he didn't like it. 

It made me cry. 

I wrote him back and explained the situation to him.  It made me feel like crap because I have been working so hard to get in shape and then he acts like I am just playing around at this and not taking it seriously.  Really?  I pulled my hamstring trying to keep up with the freaking freshmen who were doing sprints after standing outside in the freezing cold.  My muscles were not warm and I ended up injured.  Hmm.  And get this, he is not even my instructor.

I will not let this get me down.  I will continue to persevere.  But it made me mad.  And now I have to go play nice with everyone (including this person) at a barbeque because *oh yes* my husband works with them. 

Game face on.  I can do this. 

And just you wait Cpt. Poop Head.  I will show YOU.  You cannot rain on my parade and get away with it for long. 

Tomorrow...

Clinicals start.

I am oddly nervous.  Why am I nervous?  This is all old hat to me.

Maybe because this signals the start of the new reality in my life.   
Ronna P. BSN 

I always thought those letters were so pretentious.  But now?  Now I can't wait to sign my nursing notes with those three little letters.  Sometimes I don't know why I waited so long.  Sometimes I can't believe I was so afraid of this. I had every excuse in the book as for why I didn't finish school.  But the truth was, I was scared to death that I didn't have it in me.  Some days I still feel that way, but it's just the lack of sleep talking.  When I close my eyes all I can see is me, in a blue cap and gown (and honor cord around my neck), walking across that stage with a HUGE smile on my face.

That is what gets me out of bed and to school every day.  613 more wake ups and I will be there.