How are you spending your Memorial day weekend?

I would love to be relaxing, hiking, shopping, chilling with the fam.  Instead we are prepping our house to be sold.  Why is it that all the stuff you would like to do for your house suddenly becomes  prioity one when you have to sell?  Painting the stairwell, painting the entryway, building an enclosure for the dogs, painting the trim, cleaning the carpets, servicing the furnace, cleaning the windows, making drapes for the bedroom windows that are nine million inches tall so no standard drapes will fit them, buying wood blinds for the living room windows that are odd sized and so will cost an arm and a leg but will look nice so therefore...replacing the shower heads, planting flowers...the list goes on FOREVER.  Not to mention de-personalizing the entire space so that it looks like a model home.  And all of this so that someone else can walk in and say, "Oh I love this place!"  Yeah, me too. 

I don't want to move.  But we have to move.  The economy has caught us and we are facing a significant reduction in income over the next couple of months.  So, we are selling our home.  We planned on selling after I was done with school anyway, but somehow I am not ready just yet to let go of it.  All.I.Do.Is.Cry.  I love my neighborhood.  We have lived here the longest of any place since we have been married.  I just started to feel like maybe this place could be my home.  (It's hard when you move around a lot.) 

Ok, pity party over.  Back on my ladder.  There is trim to be painted.

I'm feeling bogged down today.

I have a million and one things to do and I feel like crawling in bed and pulling the covers up over my head.  Maybe it's the rain.  Maybe not.  More likely it's the heavy weight of stress hanging over my head.  I'd rather be any place than where I am right now.  I am weary.  I am sad.

I am thankful for my Husband, my children, my God who always loves me, my friends who wrap me in love even from far away places.  I am thankful that I have a brain that can get me through school.  Hopefully a body that can function well enough to get me there too.  (Hang in there poor head, I know it's tough).  I know that My God is sufficient for all my needs.  I will do as James exhorts us and "Count it all Joy when I meet trials of various kinds, for I know the testing of my faith produces steadfastness".  I know I am being vague but I just need to write these things down and remind myself that alone I can do nothing, but with God on my side I am unstoppable.  He knows the plan, I just need to sit back and let Him do His thing.  

So Ok God.  Go for it.  I'll just be here praying, waiting and watching.

I remember when...

I remember when I used to have time to read the magazines that come to my mailbox.  The one that makes me look super smart and nurse-y (Nursing2010) and the trashy one that nobody but me better open before I get to read it or heads will roll (People).  These days my Nursing magazines stack up for months before I get time to devote to reading all the journal articles and my People Rule (don't touch or I WILL cause you bodily harm) has gone by the wayside.  *sigh*  I am looking forward to the day when I can sit and read them without guilt.  

Right now I am trying to read Plato/Phaedo.  It's all of 67 pages long but it's INTENSE and really hard to understand.  Talk about philosophical gobbledegook.  Socrates sure liked to ask questions didn't he?  I guess that's why they call it the Socratic Method. Blech.  I'm glad we are only spending one week on it.  

Yellowstone was great, I wish the weather had been better.  It was coooollldd and snowy the whole time we were there.  This meant that most of the hot springs were just hot steamy lakes and we couldn't really see the beauty of them.  But we saw lots and lots of wild life.  Including a 967 pound grizzly.  Holy cow that thing was HUGE.  We went to a Grizzly/Wolf exhibit.  The wolves were super cool.  I had no idea they were so tall!  And so BIG.  They were really playful and fun to watch.  Yesterday we drove home, 11 hours in the car.  I was never so glad to see my house.  And sleep in my bed.  

Busy rest of the week ahead!  Happy Wednesday everyone!

Question of the day.

Why is my dog suddenly bringing the last mouthful of her food out the the kitchen and leaving it there?  Is she feeling my stress and losing her appetite?  Or is she trying to make me feel better with food? She walks out of the laundry room with a mouth full of kibble, lays it on the floor and then walks away.

It is driving me nuts, lol.  It's like she is trying to share with me or something.  *Thank you Dolce but California Natural Lamb and Rice dog food won't taste good either*

One benefit of stress is the fact that my summer clothes might actually fit me.  Not exactly the way I planned to go about losing the 10 pounds I gained from my foot surgery but whatever. 

I know that My God is bigger than anything I can conceive or worry about.  I know He is in control.  In my mind and in my heart I know this.  Now if I could just convince the pit in my stomach of this we would be all good.  *sigh*

A quote from Frankl "Man's Search for Meaning"

"...Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire...the salvation of man is through love  and in love.  I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved."

I am loving this book.

Ugh.

My stress level is at Defcon Delta.  Which in Army terms is as high as it gets.

:(  That's all I can say right now.  Those of you who pray.  Pray.  Please don't ask questions.  I will explain when/if I can.

Happy

So one semester of the BIG UNIVERSITY under my belt and I am more than satisfied with my grades.  All A's except for

EEEGAD.  A mouse just took some dog food out of the dish in my mom's kitchen and strolled away with it.  I know it was a mouse because 1) The dog is sleeping on the couch 2) I definitely heard dog food being eaten 3)The mice are very bold around here 4)My parents live in the middle of a huge meadow.  The cat better get busy. 

Sorry for the interruption.  As I was saying (feet now tucked up under me)  All A's except for a B+ in Philosophy but I will take that B+ and run with it.  That keeps me in the running for graduating with honors.  Magna Cum Laude.  I want Summa Cum Laude but I have to bring my GPA up another .05 percent before I will get that.  We'll see how nursing school goes.  Yikes.

And now a bunny just ran across the road.  I feel like I am in the middle of Wild Kingdom here.  All we need now are the Coyotes and the Cougar and some deer (Yes I have seen all three here) and my day will be complete.) 

I have had a whole 10 days off of school and now it's almost time to go back.  Monday starts a new round of pain.  Philosophy 201.  Ugh.  I hope it's better than Philosophy 101. 

Have a great Saturday!

And I'm Out.

I just deleted my Facebook page.  It was kind of like a bad break up in a way.  I kept hoping he'd change.  He kept getting more controlling.  Finally I left.  He got all the friends.  Stupid Facebook.  It's sad because I will miss seeing/connecting with all of my good friends and family all the time.  It's really the only way for me to stay in touch over here.  How else am I going to know that all of my buddies are planning a summer gathering?  I guess we will actually have to talk.  Hmmm what a concept.   

So today I am going to go and spend time with my very BFF in the world.  I have not had quality time with her in forever.  So it's over the mountains to the coast I go (I never thought when I moved to this side of the mountains that I would use that term "to the coast"...dang it....I've GOT to move back to to civilized side of the state where they know the coast is actually another two hours west of the big city.) 

One benefit of Facebook is the connections that I made on Spaces only got closer.  Last night when I was having problems with said iPhone from my previous post, I chatted with my friend Yvonne whom I met, via Spaces and Facebook.  She and I skype voice called and she helped me try and figure out a few things while she cleaned her kitchen and I played with my phone.  I would never have met her since she lives in CANADA and I do not.   But thanks to this lovely thing called Social Networking, we are now real live friends and I get to talk to her about silliness. :)  

Ok this has been a total random post but it IS only 5:26 in the morning and I haven't had any coffee yet and I am suffering post breakup trauma.  Cut me some slack.  I'm going to go pack my stuff and hit the road to go take care of Tammy.  I'll catch you all on the coast side!!

As a side note...

I got an A on my final paper for Philosophy 101 an also on my last test.  I have no idea how that happened.  I guess if you argue a point long and hard enough you cannot lose, lol.  YAY ME!  I will take an 88% out of that class and run with it!!!


woot!

I feel like one of those guys in the cartoon..

You know the ones, they hold up the sign that says "the end of the world is coming...tomorrow"  I have seen all this badness with Facebook and have decided that it is not for me.  I have tried to show my friends and family that it is really really not in their best interest to be connected with this site... but they don't want to leave it.  So, it's just me and a few others who are bailing.  I guess if you haven't been following the news and blogs very closely to see just how invasive this little bugger called Instant Personalization Pilot Program and it's companion Connections are, you wouldn't get just how horribly deviant it is.  But really, if I make a status update and you "like" it, suddenly it's on google for the world to see.  Really?  That is not ok with me.  And that is just the tip of the iceberg. There is soooo much more that I can't even begin to explain because I am not tech savvy enough to write it out.  But I don't really have to because it's out there to be read.  


I'm just gonna delete my account.


And be sad because I will not be able to play with my friends anymore.


But really.  I could use that time to do things like:

Read a book.  
Go outside and get some fresh air. 
Talk to my family. 
Study.
Explore my world.
LIVE.  Somewhere outside of this little box.  


So, goodbye Facebook.  It's been nice.  Too bad you had to go and change the rules.  I'm going to go smell some flowers.


~R

Finals Week

This semester has actually flown by.  I can't believe it is finals week already.  If the next 4 semesters go this quickly I will be both happy and sad at the same time.  Part of me wants to be done with all of this madness and back out in the workplace and part of me just wants to drink in this time because I will never get it back. 

I was at late night breakfast last night with some of my classmates and one of the girls said she didn't even think she would go to her own graduation ceremony.  I said, "I personally wouldn't miss it for the world."  She looked at me kind of weird and said, "But it's so long" and I said, "but you only do it once and you worked so hard for it, it's a celebration!"  I can't wait to put on that cap and gown and walk across that stage.  It will be a huge accomplishment for me.  I am already bedazzling my cap in my mind :)

So today I take my first official final exam.  I've had other finals before at the community college but this one feels final.  I am a bit worried about it but I have an "A" in the class.  I just hope I still have one after the final is over.  I really want to graduate with honors.  That is my goal.  *fingers and toes crossed*  I was not a stellar high school student, I really want to make up for that now.

Ok, 2 hours 15 minutes to go time.  I feel like running fast the other direction...


Oy.