I spent my 21st birthday at Baskin and Robbins with a five day old baby boy who grew up to be this amazing young man who today turned 21. So it was fitting that we spend his 21st together, although we did not go to Baskin and Robbins, we went to Red Robin :)
We had a quiet day at home and then went out to dinner just The Boy and The Husband and I . Later we met some friends at a local watering hole. It was lots of fun. He was his usual funny but reserved self as we joked with our mutual friends and had a drink. The waitress carded him even before he put on his "I'm 21" pin so he felt official.
All day I waited for his phone to ring. It did several times. I asked him who had called. My sister, my dad, my mom when I was talking to her. But I was waiting for the call from his dad. He hadn't called yet but it was only 6:00. There was still time.
At around 8:30 while Chris and I were playing pool he said quite out of the blue, "I wonder why Dad hasn't called yet? Of all the people who might call me, he is the one person I would have expectations of. I am disappointed that he hasn't called."
My heart broke.
He never called. I have tried to protect my son from the realities of who his dad is. I don't think after this I will be able to anymore.
Sad, Ronna. Belonging to this club of kids whose dads have checked out is no fun. (There's a reason I don't blog about mine). I'm so glad Chris had you and the hubs to take him out and celebrate his birthday. And. I do hope that Chris, if he hasn't already, finds ways to *not* internalize any of this. Love you.
ReplyDeleteI think the hardest part was sitting earlier listening to him extol the virtues of his dad and what a "family" man he is. I had to bite my tongue the whole time. He is so NOT. Chris had his first taste of reality yesterday and it really really hurt. It was the first time the disappointment really was unable to be explained away, his dad has always made excuses that Chris has bought into before. But he can't excuse this one.
ReplyDeleteI'm still sad about it. I love you too Lisa. Thanks for your comfort.
It must have been hard for you to not call your ex to remind him. We never stop hurting for our kids.
ReplyDeleteI guess you have a bd five days from now!